L is for Lady
by RobinRocks
Summary: It was fair to say that the great detective L hadn't exactly met anyone's expectations...


Well, the title's not incredibly innovative, but you can't accuse it of being misleading.

:D

Dedicated to **LetFearRuleYou**.

L

"You seem very calm," Ryuk noted through a mouthful of apple. "About this whole L thing, I mean."

Light glanced up from his homework with a small smile.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Ryuk blinked once or twice at him, pausing in his assault on the ruby fruit clutched in his clawed hand.

"Well… aren't you worried? You heard what he said – he's going to catch you and give you the death penalty." The Shinigami sniggered to himself. "I mean, he got you good with that Lind L. Taylor guy, Light. Wouldn't surprise me if he catches you pretty soon."

Light shot Ryuk a scathing look, going back to his English homework.

"As faithful as ever, Ryuk," he muttered scornfully.

Ryuk only snickered delightedly again.

"I'm only here for entertainment purposes, as you know; and frankly, I'd find you getting caught and arrested pretty entertaining."

"But then your fun would be over," Light pointed out complacently.

"Not likely. You humans are all the same. I bet if I gave the notebook to someone else, they'd wreak just as much havoc with it as you have."

"Well, don't get so ahead of yourself," Light bit out irritably. "I haven't been caught yet, and no doubt L thinks he's pretty smart to have closed in on the Kanto region like this already with his little trick, but don't worry – he's not going to get me, Ryuk. I have a few tricks up my sleeve. In fact, I think I might even play around with L a little…"

"Oh?" Ryuk finished his apple, watching Light with interest as he winched open the fake bottom of his booby-trapped desk drawer and slipped the slim black Death Note out from beneath the panel.

"After all, I _did_ accept his challenge," the boy said, running his fingertips over the smooth cover of the notebook. "It would be rude of me not to play his game, don't you think?"

Ryuk shrugged.

"And the Death Note's pretty amazing, Ryuk," Light went on. "I can control people's actions before they die, dictate exactly how they'll die and what time… I can have _plenty_ of fun with L, I think."

Light glanced at Ryuk over his shoulder again, but this time he was smiling.

"If you must know, I'm quite glad he showed up. I might have goals in mind, but it was getting a little boring. The police are no match for me, after all. I think L is going to make things a whole lot more exciting…"

Light's smile darkened to a smirk.

"And after I've had my fun, I'll find out his name and kill him. It seems like he's a huge threat, but that's not true, Ryuk – it's just a little contest to make things exciting, and in the end, the best man will win."

* * *

"_Aren't you concerned about this, L?" Watari asked, pressing the phone close to his ear._

"_Concerned about what, Watari?" the detective replied calmly over the line._

"_Well, about the FBI agents, and the fact that… all these Japanese police officers are dropping from the Kira case left and right—" _

"_Oh, no, Watari." L gave a soft little laugh. "This is exactly what I was counting on."_

"_The Japanese police force working on the Kira case whittling itself down like this?"_

"_Precisely that, yes."_

"_And… you're really planning to show yourself to the handful remaining…?"_

"_I don't really have much of a choice at this point." L paused. "Please don't worry yourself. This isn't going to jeopardize anything, you know."_

"_Well, if you're confident…"_

"_I am." The detective gave another amused little laugh. "Why? Do you really think they'll be that surprised by what they see?" _

"_Well… I don't really know what they're expecting."_

_L smiled on the other end of the line._

"_I do."_

* * *

Maybe it was just failed nerve to look upon L after being first subjected to his prestigious reputation and unquestionable skill, but no-one – not Aizawa, Ide, Ukita, Mogi, Matsuda nor even Chief Soichiro Yagami – really bothered to look at the detective immediately as they entered his hotel room, rather more focused on if everyone else was in and making sure the door was closed before they all collectively turned towards the figure standing before them—

And though they'd each been all set to greet this brilliant man, it was at this point that words utterly failed all of them.

…Most likely because the brilliant man standing before them wasn't, in fact, a man at all.

They all stared, and a few – Chief Yagami – attempted to speak, but found that words again failed him, and this was met only with an extremely amused smile.

She _certainly_ wasn't a man.

"I'm L," she said, as though to put them out of their misery; and then she raised a dark eyebrow in further amusement as they blinked at her, as though she'd announced that she was a flesh-eating alien from Mars. "…And _you're_ surprised."

Understatement of the century – they were all absolutely _gobsmacked_.

They'd been expecting a man. She knew that – she took great delight in that. She wasn't marginally sorry to have disappointed them.

She had no idea what they'd expected L to look like – a sharp guy in a slick suit, no doubt. Hell, maybe they'd even been expecting the traditional trench-coat-and-fedora jobbie; or perhaps clutching a magnifying glass and pipe. They'd probably have been surprised enough to have walked in here to find a guy in casual jeans, maybe with bare feet and unkempt hair.

But it was clear that, no matter what L truly looked like, they _had_ expected him to be a man.

Instead they were faced with a tall woman, slender and willowy, with pale skin, dark eyes and chronically straight ebony hair falling in a shining cascade down her slim back. Her clothes were supremely well-cut and fitted – a white jacket with thin lapels and a waist neatly nipped-in to accentuate that she really _wasn't_ a man, with matching trousers. The black lace-edged top she wore beneath the jacket matched her hair and the high-heeled shoes on her feet, and she was devoid of make-up and jewellery but for one example of each; a touch of dark red lipstick and a subtle silver chain around her neck, suspended on which was a delicate jewelled "L".

Receiving no answer from the array of stunned policemen before her, L gestured towards the living area of her hotel suite.

"Well, don't just stand there, gentlemen," she said, still thoroughly amused rather than offended – after all, this was exactly the reaction she'd been expecting. "Please come in and make yourselves comfortable. We have much to discuss."

They all cleared their throats and fussed with jackets and mobile phones until—

"You're a _woman_!" Matsuda burst out, unable to contain his shock any longer.

L smiled.

"Last I checked, yes," she responded pleasantly. "I apologise for taking you all by such surprise. I do hope it won't affect the way we work together on this case."

This was directed more at Chief Yagami than anyone else; he cleared his throat and put out his hand towards her in an action of acquaintance long delayed.

"No, of course not," he said quickly, shaking with her when she took it. "Forgive our rudeness, Ms L."

"Just L, please." She took her hand back and turned away, starting towards the sofas across the room – hair and hips swaying in perfect rhythm. "Please leave your cellular devices over there while we talk."

She sank gracefully into an armchair while she waited for them to join her, carrying out an elaborate chain of actions after she was seated; she took out some hairpins from her jacket pocket and pinned the main body of her hair up, then poured some tea, tasted it, added some sugar, then sipped at it again, and, seemingly satisfied this time, leaned back in her chair and crossed one leg over the other.

They were all still largely speechless and staring at her when they joined her, clustering on the couches arranged either side of the small coffee table.

"Very few people are aware that I'm a woman," L said at length, answering an unspoken question. "So you needn't feel embarrassed about your mistake. In fact, I deliberately mislead people to believe that L is male."

"Yes," Matsuda suddenly agreed, making everyone glare at him the way they had when he'd spoken the first time. "That garbled computer voice you use… it sounds male…"

L nodded.

"Deliberate misdirection." She stirred her tea. "It's not because I'm ashamed of my gender, or believe that people would take me less seriously if they knew that I am a woman. It's just that it's an extra precaution against the discovery of my true identity."

The police officers were all nodding in understanding.

"And additionally," L went on over her tiny teacup, "the crime world – both sides of it – is principally male-dominated. Women in high-up positions are few and far between. Male crimes bosses, to be frank, don't expect to be beaten by a woman, so I suppose I take pleasure in allowing them to think I'm a man. It makes victory over them that much sweeter."

She took another sip of tea, then put the cup down on its saucer.

"For the record, I think it is fair to assume that Kira believes me to be male," she said, her smile bordering more on a smirk at this point; though it dissipated a little as she brought her thumb up to her mouth to nibble thoughtfully at her nail. "…Admittedly, it intrigues me as to what gender _Kira_ is."

"We tend to refer to him as… well, as "him"," Aizawa said, finally finding his tongue.

L brushed a strand of hair back from her face.

"Well, I daresay your meeting of me may cause you to revise your opinion."

"You think Kira is female, L?" Chief Yagami asked sharply.

L shrugged.

"I have no idea. We may have pinpointed Kira's location, but it's far too early to determine their gender. Not that it truly matters, in all honesty. I myself can attest for that – I've been ranked as the greatest detective in the world, you assumed I was a man, but, as you can see, I'm not. That proves that I'm as good at this job as any man would be. Being Kira is no more of a gender-stereotype than being a detective is."

The rest of them were all nodding, led along by her every word; and eventually she took a pen out of her pocket and uncapped it, holding it very delicately.

"We should begin," she said, "as we have much to get through. If you could please put your shock at my gender aside for now, I would greatly appreciate it."

"O-of course." Chief Yagami dipped his head slightly in an apologetic little bow of respect. "Our apologies, L. It is highly unprofessional of us to—"

"As before, you needn't apologise. The misdirection was entirely on my part. However, as we are still lingering on this topic, I would like to take this opportunity to remind all of you…"

She glanced up at them all and smiled; a very beautiful smile, which nonetheless did nothing to dim the intelligence in her dark eyes.

"…That justice knows no gender."

* * *

Light was distracted, his mind working away at things other than the success of his student representative speech, as he made his way out of the entrance ceremony hall, Ryuk floating along after him like an oversized kite.

Which, incidentally, was probably the reason that he walked into someone halfway down the hall. A female, judging from the little cry of surprise elicited when something fell out of her hand at the impact of having a fair-sized eighteen year old boy walk right into her.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Light backed off, glancing about for whatever it was that she'd dropped.

Her phone.

He bent and retrieved it for her, holding it out. She reached out a slim hand and took it from him in a fashion so bizarre that he couldn't help but look up at her.

A woman, quite a few years his elder, with long black hair tonged into voluminous waves that fanned over her shoulders, dressed in boot-cut jeans, suede high heels and a three-quarter sleeved white shirt. The faint trace of a necklace glinted against her throat, but was tucked for the most part beneath the collar of her crisp blouse.

"Thankyou," she said pleasantly, slipping the phone into her pocket.

"I… uh… yeah…" Light gave an abashed nod, smiled weakly and walked off, Ryuk soaring unseen after him.

The Shinigami glanced back at her, noting that she was watching the boy leave, a hand on her hip and a smile on her face.

"Hey, Light, she's still looking at you," he said gleefully. "Maybe she's checking you out."

"Shut up," Light hissed; and he said nothing more until he got home and back up into his room.

"You don't have a thing for older women, then?" Ryuk asked, floating over to the bed.

"Please, Ryuk." Light gave a snort of disgust. "I have _other_ things to worry about right now."

"Like what?"

"Like _L_, you idiot." Light sank into the chair at his desk. "This is hardly a fair competition if he won't show himself. I'm going to have to try harder at luring him out into the open…"

Ryuk sniggered.

"Even if you manage to do that, how will you know it's him when you see him?"

Light gave an uninterested shrug.

"L uses some unorthodox tactics," he mused, leaning back. "Maybe he'll even walk right up to me and _tell_ me that he's L. Either way, I _am_ going to drag him out of his hiding place."

He put his hands behind his head and sighed.

"He can't lurk behind that stupid letter forever."

* * *

"Watari?"

"L, are you alright? The line got cut off."

"My phone got knocked out of my hand. I'm fine, though." L smiled, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "Just thought you might like to know that I've found him."

"Indeed?"

"Yes." L paused. "A boy, of course."

She gave a cool little laugh.

"…I'm almost disappointed."

* * *

The writing of this odd little oneshot follows a discussion I had with my pal LetFearRuleYou, whilst watching the dubbed _Death Note_, about how interestingly different the series would have been if L had been a woman.

Not _better_, necessarily – but certainly different.

We did both come to the conclusion that literally a female version of the existing L probably wouldn't work – as such, the L I portrayed above is almost a different person altogether. I did keep a few of his quirks, though, just for fun. :)

Admittedly, I guess I took a lot of inspiration for this female L from the character of Integra from _Hellsing_. I've seen other female portrayals of L that rewrite the character as virtually identical to his male form, just alter the gender. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it's just…

Well, this was a version that LetFearRuleYou and I agreed on.

Ah, poor Light. You fail.


End file.
